I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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