Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
