Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
