i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
