All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
There are leaves in my underwear?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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