This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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