your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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