oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
So. Much. Porn.
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