4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
