Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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