I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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