Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize