TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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