and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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