I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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