i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
