we're blogging at a bar
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
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I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
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i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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