Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
