and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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