I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
this just has baby written all over it
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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