I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
