No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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