I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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