hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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