Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
