When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he puts the penis in happiness.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your aforementioned shoe
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize