quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
