Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize