i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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