Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We need to rekindle our bromance
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
