Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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