Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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