counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
