i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
this boner is exhausting
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
