We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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