we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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