you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
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Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
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I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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