at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
