Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
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Swine flu is the new snow day.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
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You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?