I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
where does the pee come out of this thing
The best revenge is premature balding
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.