They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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