I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?