Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Sex on roller skates
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen