bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
