thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
