It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize