i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
