I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
