My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
