My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
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Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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