YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
