He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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