I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
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