4 words: hood of his car
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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