Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
