What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
