I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
