That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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