I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
