Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
