A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
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How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
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STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
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