well I can't set my house on fire every night
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
