Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
