You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
